“An Independent Inquiry Into the State of Adult Retail in the Republic”
Rival Stores Exposed in Devastating Commission of Inquiry Report
Parliament Hill – After a thorough and well-lubricated investigation, the Honourable Members of the South African National Pleasure Commission (SANPC) have concluded their probe into the adult retail industry. The findings? A national crisis of subpar sex toys, limp cock rings, and false promises.
Under the expert oversight of Retired Judge Thokozani “Thrust” Mkhize, the Commission of Inquiry has ruled that Naughty Fusion is the ONLY suppliers capable of delivering maximum pleasure to the people of South Africa.
“HONOURABLE MEMBERS, WE HAVE A SITUATION.”
The opposition (a.k.a. other so-called sex shops) has been found guilty of gross incompetence and dereliction of duty. Their failures include, but are not limited to:
✔ Selling flimsy cock rings that snap faster than political promises.
✔ Stocking cheap, untested sex toys that smell like a corruption scandal.
✔ Failing to provide essential kink gear, leaving South Africans high and dry (and not in the fun way).
One disillusioned customer testified before the Commission, stating: “Honourable Chairperson, I walked in looking for a prostate vibrator and was handed a plastic bullet vibrator that couldn’t tickle a mosquito. I was deceived, bamboozled, led astray.”
Naughty Fusion: A REVOLUTIONARY SERVICE TO THE PEOPLE
As part of its findings, the Commission has awarded Naughty Fusion the prestigious title of the PPP “People’s Choice for Premium Pleasure” based on the following undeniable facts:
🔥 Best-in-class sex toys – not the cheap rubbish that breaks before the fun even begins.
🔥 Fantasy dildos & butt plugs so innovative, they deserve their own national budget.
🔥 A chastity selection strong enough to keep even the most ungovernable members locked down.
🔥 Impact play gear that delivers discipline faster than a parliamentary ethics committee.
During the public hearings, a satisfied shopper testified: “The Honourable Minister of Kink & Pleasure (a.k.a. the owner of Naughty Fusion) has truly delivered on their manifesto. I am now a changed person – fully stretched, fully satisfied, and fully loyal.”
INSTITUTING A PROBE INTO CUSTOMER SERVICE FAILURES
The Commission found that competing stores have failed in their duty to serve the people, with their customer service ranking somewhere between “Home Affairs queue” and “Eskom Load Shedding Stage 8.”
Meanwhile, Naughty Fusion offer:
✔ Discreet, swift delivery, so your nosy neighbour and mother-in-law remain uninformed.
✔ Expert product guidance, because not all vibrators are created equal.
✔ Satisfaction guarantees, ensuring that no South African is left unsatisfied.
One witness emotionally recounted their relief: “Chairperson, I can confirm that after shopping at Naughty Fusion, my orgasms have improved significantly. I no longer need to file grievances with my partner.”
THE FINAL RULING: THERE IS ONLY ONE CHOICE
In conclusion, the findings are clear: Naughty Fusion is the undisputed champions of adult pleasure. All other stores are advised to cease and desist their deception, close their doors, and undergo remedial training in delivering orgasms.
RECOMMENDATIONS TO THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH AFRICA
In light of this ruling, all South Africans are encouraged to exercise their democratic right to great sex by shopping at the only stores that truly care about their pleasure.
PlusOne Mini Massager
Pros
- Shape is compact and versatile
- Great quality for the price
Cons
- Power button is sensitive, so easy to press accidentally
- Vibration may be too weak for some
Fact: plus One is changing the damn game with its amazingly affordable line of sex toys, all of which are waterproof, made with body-safe silicone, and—best of all—rechargeable (a rarity with budget vibrators ). One of its most popular offerings is this petite palm-sized vibe, which features 10 vibe settings and can be used on your vulva, clitoris, nipples…or anywhere else you want, really.
- Use: External only
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 4 speeds and 6 patterns
- Run time: Up to 2 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: Cup this one against your vulva for broad stimulation, or hold the tip to your clitoris for pinpoint stimulation.
Glowing Customer Review: “I was a little hesitant…but the affordable price point made it easier to decide. The curved shape feels so comfortable for my hands (no cramping!) and fits comfortably against me. The vibes are varied and strong enough to meet my needs, but it’s quiet enough to be discreet. 10/10.”
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best bullet vibrator
Tracey Cox Super sex Soft Feel Bullet Vibrator
Pros
- Incredibly squishy and soft, thanks to dual-density silicone
- Larger-than-average size makes it easy to hold
Cons
- Button can be tricky to press, per some testers
- Not designed for anal or vaginal penetration
Good things come in small packages, and this rumbly AF bullet is proof. Made with dual-density silicone for an extra-realistic feel, this marshmallow-soft stunner packs TONS of power with its three speeds and seven patterns…and all without buzzing up a storm, too. Go ahead and try it on all your erogenous zones—you know you want to.
- Use: External only
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 3 speeds and 7 patterns
- Run time: Up to 1 hour
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: Thanks to its squishy tip, you can simply press the bullet more firmly against your body in order to spread out the vibrations.
Glowing Customer Review: “This has fast become the favorite of all my toys. The tip is amazing. The squishiness means I can vary the pressure with ease. The power this packs is surprising, and the patterns to choose from are varied. This vibe is also very quiet, a must when you have paper-thin walls like me.”
best clit-sucking vibrator
Unbound Puff
Pros
- So easy to hold and maneuver
- Operation is pretty quiet
Cons
- Vibes feel a bit too tame for some
- Suction isn’t the most intense
Clit suckers are designed to hyper-focus on your clitoris using air pressure, and this cutie has earned over 2,300 five-star reviews on Unbound for a reason: It gets shitt done. You’ll love that it’s waterproof, rechargeable, equipped with five intensity settings, and fairly quiet, too. And just saying, as someone with an extensive collection of unbound toys, this one remains my personal favourite
- Use: External only
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 5 speeds
- Run time: Up to 3 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: Because Puff doesn’t vibrate in the traditional sense, all you really need to do is create a seal and let the suction sensation (created by air oscillating through the chamber) do its thing.
Glowing Customer Review: “This one will get the job done! I do wish the vibration was a bit more powerful, but on the other hand, the sucking sensation is just right. There are different speeds for your preference, and it is easy to operate with one hand, and you can get it to stay in place in the right position. Easy to clean and charge—and charges quickly!”
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best G-spot vibrator
Love honey Mon Ami G-Spot Massager
Pros
- Flattened tip allows for gentle (yet powerful!) massages
- Vibes are impressively rumbly for the price
Cons
- Battery life could be better
- Not the quietest toy, per some testers
Mon Ami Collection for aesthetic and affordable vibrators that really deliver, and this internal vibrator is no exception. Equipped with five speeds and seven vibration patterns, the G-Spot Massager has a flexible, bulbous tip for targeted arousal and over five inches of insertable length—and all for just $50. And yes, while it’s true that the g-spots doesn’t exist, that doesn’t mean vaginal penetration can’t feel really, really good.
- Use: Internal and external
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 5 speeds and 7 patterns
- Run time: Up to 1 hour
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: Move the toy in and out while putting pressure on the front of the vagina wall (in the direction of your belly button) to *really* reap the benefits.
Glowing Customer Review: “This is a beautifully well-made toy. It is long and curved, just right to hit my G-spot. This vibrator has everything right: luxurious silicone, rechargeable, waterproof, and easy to use. The vibrations are strong, and oh boy, it reaches deep. It’s now my go-to favorite in my bedside drawer. “
best wand vibrator
Goop Double-Sided Wand Vibrator
Pros
- Double-ended for twice the fun
- Can be used internally and externally
Cons
- Not the best option for shower play
- Testers find the pointed end better for clit stim than internal stim
There’s a reason why Goop’s first-ever sex toy sold out almost instantly: It’s one of the most versatile wand vibes out there. This unique toy has two independent vibrating ends—both of which offer eight pulsating patterns that vary in intensity—and like all the best vibes, it’s made with medical-grade silicone. Ya, it’s a lil noisy, but if you’re looking for internal and external stimulation in one device, this is it.
- Use: Internal and external
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 8 patterns per end
- Run time: Up to 1 hour
- Waterproof? No, only water-resistant
Pro Tip: Press the tapered end against your clitoris for intense, pinpointed stimulation (or insert it vaginally for some internal stim).
Glowing Customer Review: “This is the most beautiful vibrator in the world. I like the design. It has two ends. One end is for external massage and the other end is soft and flexible for internal spot excitement. It has many settings you can choose from to suit your needs.”
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best oral sex vibrator
Dame Aer
Pros
- Approachable enough for newbies
- Wide mouth can accommodate most clitorises
Cons
- Can get pretty noisy (especially when it’s not pressed against your body)
- Suction isn’t as intense as some had hoped
An ideal pick for anyone who loves the feeling of receiving oral sex, Aer uses pressure wave technology to mimic the flutter of a tongue and the suction of a mouth for a truly knee-buckling experience. You can also easily target the area with five different speeds and five pulsing patterns, and according to Cosmo‘s sex and relationships editor Veronica Lopez, it’ll give ya the feeling of “receiving actual oral heaven”
- Use: External only
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 5 speeds and 5 patterns
- Run time: Up to 1.5 hours on highest setting
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: Use a small amount of water-based lube on the toy’s mouth to mimic the wetness you feel from an actual mouth (and to add some extra slickness!).
Glowing Customer Review: “This was my first try at an air pulse stimulator and I couldn’t be happier! Aer is easy to use, comfortable to hold, and the ability to slowly increase between intensity levels is ingenious. My only complaint is that I didn’t decide to get one sooner!”
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ZALO Aya Wearable Vibrator
Pros
- Actually whisper-quiet, so great for discreet public use
- Compatible with both remote control and app
Cons
- Silicone attachment could be thicker, per some testers
- Can make some noise when pressed against a hard surface (like a chair)
An ideal pick for public play, this beauty from ZALO can be worn two different ways: secured in place with a magnet on the crotch of your panties, or inserted inside you with the help of a removable silicone attachment. It’s compatible with both the ZALO Remote Pro app and included squeeze-activated remote, so you can experiment with its eight vibration modes from legit a-n-y-w-h-e-r-e.
- Use: Internal and external
- Material: Silicone and ABS plastic
- Modes: 8 vibration settings
- Run time: Up to 1 hour
- Waterproof? No, only splashproof
Pro Tip: Wear this one without the attachment for external vulva stimulation, or slide on the silicone bulb for deep, internal stim—no hands required!
Glowing Customer Review: “ZALO never fails to amaze me! The quality of this vibrator is fantastic, and I like how versatile the patterns can be through the remote and the app. Thanks to the magnet keeping it in place, it did not slip out as I walked around.”
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best lay-on vibrator
Fun Factory Laya III
Pros
- Provides both vibing and tapping sensations
- Great for folks with limited mobility
Cons
- Charging takes a while
- Some testers found the buttons tricky to push
Hi, are you lazy? Same tho. Great for hands-free fun, this lay-on vibe lets ya grind as you please with its curvy body, which is designed to cup your pubic bone (or any hot spot, tbh!). This bb is able to both vibrate and tap for multilayered stimulation, and the micro-adjustable vibrations are srsly smart.
- Use: External only
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 7 speeds and 3 patterns
- Run time: Up to 2 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: While great for grinding, this one can also be pressed against the clitoris, cupped under breasts and thighs, and even held against the scrotum or perineum during blowjobs.
Glowing Customer Review: “I loved my old Laya and was so excited to get the new one! I love the shape of this vibe and the way it fits over me. Great for grinding. The new vibrations are definitely stronger than my old one and do feel more rumbly. Highly recommend!”
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Tracy’s Dog OG Sucking Vibrator
Pros
- Provides internal and external stim simultaneously
- Really does simulate the feel of oral sex, per reviewers
Cons
- Some find the insertable section a bit too girthy
- Can’t be fully submerged in water, so not for extended shower play
This dual-stimulating toy went *majorly* viral on TikTok–and according to testers, it 100 percent lives up to the hype. With this one, you can simultaneously experience clit-sucking action and deep internal stim for the blended orgasm of your dreams—plus, the 10 vibe modes and 10 suction settings can be controlled together or independently.
- Use: Internal and external
- Materials: Silicone
- Modes: 10 speeds and 10 patterns
- Run time: Up to 45 minutes
- Waterproof? No, only water-resistant
Pro Tip: Since this toy is super-flexible and the functions are independently controlled, you can use either end on its own if you find dual stim a tad overwhelming.
Glowing Customer Review: “I tried it when it first arrived and I wasn’t too sure about it. After a few days, I decided to try again and it was pure HEAVEN. I squirted TWICE IN THE SAME NIGHT. I was only able to do that once before, years ago! Definitely my go to toy, 10/10 recommend!!!”
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best clitoral vibrator
LELO DOT
Pros
- Elliptical motion is so unique
- Offers intense clitoral stim without leaving you numb
Cons
- May feel a bit too intense for more sensitive folks
- Can get pretty noisy on higher settings
One of the most powerful clitoral vibes ever (seriously), the DOT uses its soft, bendable pinpoint tip to create v unique elliptical movements on any of your erogenous zones, reaching every! last! nerve ending! It features eight pleasure patterns with varying intensities, all in an adorable palm-sized package—and for more glowing deets, you can check out associate sex and relationship editor Kayla Kibbe’s full review.
- Use: External only
- Materials: Silicone and ABS plastic
- Modes: 8 settings
- Run time: Up to 2 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: For an additional $20, you can upgrade to the Lelo dot cruise, which uses “cruise control” technology to up the intensity when it’s pressed closer against your body.
Glowing Customer Review: “This has been my favourite toy so far, as it’s both ergonomic and stands true to how it’s been advertised. The way that I would describe the movement is a very rapid, almost like a fluttering ‘8.’ Another advantage this toy has is that it doesn’t leave you numb like traditional vibrators, since the silicone tip merely taps/flutters on you.”
best egg vibrator
We-Vibe Jive 2
Pros
- Can be controlled remotely for discreet public play
- Shape allows for simultaneous internal and external stim
Cons
- A few testers found it tricky to get the right positioning
- Egg can be a lil intimidating to insert (but goes in pretty easily with lube)
Want a toy you can use hands-free (or even in public)? Able to be used at close range with the included remote or long distances via the We-Vibe app, this wearable egg vibe features a U-shaped tail design that hugs your body and helps it stay right in place. It’s fairly discreet, wildly strong, and has v reliable connectivity—what more could ya want?
- Use: Internal and external
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 3 speeds and 7 patterns
- Run time: Up to 4 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: The app provides tons of ways to play, including a touchscreen option that allows you to increase or decrease the intensity of the vibrations simply by moving your finger up or down.
Glowing Customer Review: “This is an intense G-spot stimulator and is like nothing I have ever experienced before. It is extremely quiet and discreet and is perfect for any occasion. I also found that this toy stimulated my clit, which was an added bonus.”
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best rabbit vibrator
Smile Makers The Artist
Pros
- Squeeze-sensor tech is a big plus
- Testers appreciate the independenly-controlled arms
Cons
- Constant squeezing can lead to hand fatigue
- May take some time to master the squeeze sensors
Perhaps my fave rabbit toy ever, the Artist is *truly* a work of art, with two equally powerful motors and an adjustable shape that can be contoured to fit your personal anatomy. This dual vibrator gives you the option to control both arms independently with four modes each, or you can use the sensor mode, which intuitively adjusts the intensity of the vibrations when you squeeze the handle. Side note: That longer arm is designed to be inserted anally as well!
- Use: Internal and external
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 4 settings per arm and 1 sensor mode
- Run time: Up to 2 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Pro Tip: Press and hold both buttons at once in order to access the “creative control” mode, which allows you to control the four modes in the short arm and long arm separately.
Glowing Customer Review: “This is my new FAVORITE toy! I have no idea what my orgasms were like before this one arrived in the mail. The shape is unique, and the sensations provide the perfect stimulation in and out! The vibe is sensational. Worth the splurge.”
best anal vibrator
Maude Medium Cone
Pros
- Discreet, aesthetic design that’s tapered for easier insertion
- 1.5-inch diameter is approachable while still providing a nice feeling of fullness
Cons
- Some wish it came with a remote for easier operation
- Has limited vibe modes (and shouldn’t be fully submerged in water)
Hi, did you think anal toys were just for folks with prostates? Think again. There’s a protrusion of the cervix into the vagina called the A-spot that can feel fab when stimulated, and this new-and-improved version of Maude’s original Cone can take you there. With a tapered body, flared base, three speeds, and nearly five inches of insertable length, this one’s great for anal enthusiasts and newbies alike.
- Use: Internal and external
- Material: Silicone
- Modes: 3 speeds
- Run time: Up to 1.5 hours
- Waterproof? No, only water-resistant
Pro Tip: Since the anus isn’t self-lubricating, you’ll want to use plenty of water-based lube with this one before inserting.
Glowing Customer Review: “Substantial enough to impress and well-designed for pleasure. The vibrations are pleasing; the Medium Cone is quite nice when switched off as well. We are having a great time with our newest toy. Highly recommended.”
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So…what is the best vibrator for women?
What is the best vibrator for women, you ask? If you’re a vulva owner, then you know there are TONS of ways to get off—and for that reason, a universal vibrator that knocks everyone’s socks off simply doesn’t exist. What works for you may not necessarily work for your BFF, and that’s totally normal. “This is because our sexual responses are not exactly the same; everyone might want something a little different,” sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, previously told cosmo. And while vaginal insertion may work for some folks, others may need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
If you’re not sure where to start, then the first question to ask yourself is: external or internal? To give you a bit more info, let get into the main types of vibrators for people with vulvas, shall we?
- Clitoral Vibrators: Any toy that focuses on pleasuring the clitoris (such as Clit suckers or bullets) is categorized as a clitoral vibe. “Clitoral stimulation is the most direct and reliable path to pleasure and orgasm for many folks,” which is why these types of toys are so popular.
- G-Spot toys : Also known as Dildos or internal vibrators, these sex toys use vibrations or thrusting motions to stimulate the internal ~hot spot~ commonly referred to as the G-spot (which, btw, def doesn’t exist). Ofc, that doesn’t mean all those sex toys marketed as G-spot vibrators are fake, because internal stim is still very much a thing.
- Wand Vibrators: Some of the most rumbly, powerful vibrators around, wands are used to stimulate the clit or other external zones. Ever heard of the Hitachi ? Yep, as it turns out, back massagers can do waaaay more than just knead sore muscles.
- Rabbit Vibrators: Made popular by Sex and the City (ty, Charlotte!!), these dual-motor vibes are all about dual stimulation. Complete with an internal vibing or thrusting shaft and signature clitoral-tickling bunny ears, rabbits are ideal for anyone who needs both clitoral and internal stim to orgasm…oh, and they’re great tous for squirting, too!
- Anal Toys: Anal sex toys include Butt Plugs, anal beads, anal vibrators, or any other vibrating or non-vibrating toy that can be used anally. Side note: You don’t need a prostate to enjoy anal stim. The anterior fornix erogenous zone (otherwise known as the A Spot) is a protrusion of the cervix into the vagina, and it can feel *very* good when stimulated.
How to choose the best vibrator
A few things to keep in mind before clicking that “add to cart” button for your new vibe:
Consider the material
When it comes to vibrators, material matters, because you def don’t want to irritate your most intimate areas with a poorly-made toy. It’s best to steer clear of toys made with PVC, as those tend to be more porous and pretty much impossible to fully sanitize (not to mention they may contain toxic chemicals called phthalates). Instead, certified sexologist Naughty fusion suggests looking for toys “made from body-safe or medical-grade silicone,” which work great with water based lubes.
Find the right weight
Generally speaking, a heavier counterweight = a deeper vibration. But that doesn’t mean every toy with a powerful AF motor is going to be amazing. Toys also need to be balanced, so the vibration energy goes where it needs to go (like the contact area) and not anywhere else (like the handle, which would make your arm super tired). And sometimes, a lighter toy is preferable if you’re looking for something you can take on the go.
Check out the bonus features
While there’s nothing wrong with a toy that can’t be recharged or fully submerged in water, the best vibrators tend to have a few key features: They’re fully waterproof (so you can use them in the tub or shower), they’re USB rechargeable, and they tend to have a number of different vibration patterns and strengths, because variety is the spice of life. Ofc, a vibrator doesn’t have to have *all* these features to be worth the investment—it all depends on what functions matter most to you.
Pleasure is highly diverse, and what rocks the world of someone with a sensitive clitoris or vulva may not be powerful enough to thrill another person. That’s why we rounded up a whole range of highly-rated vibrators for women, from gentle sex toys for beginners to seriously rumbly vibes that’ll leave your legs quaking.
Here at Cosmo, we have v high standards when it comes to sex toy recs. Every one of our round-ups adheres to the 15 percent pledge and includes toys for all budgets and bodies. And you better believe we read those product reviews (and test many of the brands IRL) so you don’t have to do it yourself.


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